Parenting Baby to Sleep

Fear is one of the biggest guides in our parenting styles of today.
One of our main fears is that our babies will manipulate and control us with their tantrums, their crocodile tears and their many wakeful episodes in the night (or day)
Tantrums tend to get ignored, growled at and or even the use of physical punishment like hitting/spanking could be used to make the child end their ‘paddy’.
Tears of fear or pain can be greeted with stern looks, “Oh your ok”, “Its not so bad”, “you’re a big kid now…(with the heavy hint that big kids don’t cry) and the good old ignoring gets put into use here again.
Wakeful episodes are viewed very much as having control over the parent. Tears, screaming or crying out, head/arm/leg bashing, cot/crib rattling and in some cases defecating on command (yes pooing… its in that book ” Save Our Sleep”) are all ways to get the parents attention so as to control and manipulate them…so the child can get out bed…not because the child feels alone/scared or has separation anxiety.

Why do we resent being manipulated and controlled so much – especially from our own children
Is it because most of us have been manipulated and controlled all of our lives.
We have been “Trained to sleep” many of us in some form or other of Cry it out and Controlled Crying.
We have been kept to schedules of when we must sleep, breastfeed/eat, bath and even play.
We have cried out for comfort after a fright, a fall or in confusion and have received very little in the ways of comfort.
We have been told/yelled at, directed to do what ever needs to be done with little care for our own feelings ideas and creativity.
We have been told not do something because its too dangerous, its too expensive, your too old or to young, you don’t know how to, you’ll make a mess, “its mine”, you’ll break it……
We have been stood behind and watched, ‘guided’ and ‘taught’
We have been schooled in the masses most of us in fear or loathing…(in school we start to see some serious rebelling).
We work in environments which we are often working in fear of job loss, what others think of us, not speaking out, being told what to do.

How much can we take?
So when a small baby comes along…this is one thing that is NOT going to have control over you!…?

Is this why people shy away from being an attachment parent? Is listening to your child a part of their control over you?
Does the idea that babies and children have no idea what manipulation and control is unless you teach it to them scare you or empower you to try and change for your children’s sake.

Look into some articles by Naomi Aldort, Pam Leo and Jan Hunt at the Natural Child Project.

We all need help we all need love we all need care we all need someone to listen to us…we are not manipulating beings unless we are taught through manipulation.